I just said I'm not his... oh, nevermind, think whatever you want.

[Explaining what was actually going on would take all day, so screw that.]

It's true though, you really are awful parents. But hey, I'm sure you can't have been the only pair so neglectful that you didn't even realize you ate your kid... right? I'm sure that happens to parents all the time.

["...You're enjoying this a little too much."]